


The Two of Us Are Already Far Apart

by Sunset_Butterflies



Series: Ereri one shots [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ereri Secret Santa 2017, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, basically a lot of angst, sorry heheh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 17:30:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13171770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunset_Butterflies/pseuds/Sunset_Butterflies
Summary: Christmas is coming and Eren can't wait to see his boyfriend again.Nothing could go wrong... right?





	The Two of Us Are Already Far Apart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [XanderB](https://archiveofourown.org/users/XanderB/gifts).



> Hello! This is my secret santa gift for @xandiepandie-blog! I hope you'll like this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it, and I'm really sorry for all the angst, I don't know where it came from heheh
> 
> ps. this fic was somehow inspired by bts songs spring day and crystal snow, so if you want to get more into the mood of this fic, you should definitely check these songs out! ^^

 

"Okay, I'm done for today!" exclaimed Armin happily, as he got up from his seat opposite Eren's. December just started and the two boys have been doing nothing but studying and taking exams since the beginning of October, so it's more than obvious that they were really looking forward to their winter break. A student's life sure is tough.

"Lucky you, I still have a few more pages to go," sighed Eren. "See you tomorrow then?"

"Sure," nodded Armin, "good luck, and get enough sleep, it wouldn't be good if you missed your classes again, right?" he teased.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Good night." Eren said, quite annoyed. Armin didn't think much of it, he was guessing that Eren was just really tired. He picked up his backpack and with a tired 'goodbye' left the study hall.

Eren took out his phone that has been buzzing in his pocket every now and then. Even before unlocking his phone, he already knew who it was. Who else would text him at 10 o'clock in the evening?

_l <3 vi at 21:54_  
_how are you babe?_

_l <3 vi at 21:58_  
_are you studying? or sleeping? sorry if i'm disturbing you_

_l <3 vi at 22:07_  
_i miss you_

Eren's heart skipped a beat. He knew it was Levi, but his messages still made his heart flutter every time. He's been dating Levi for two years now, and Levi made him the happiest person in the universe. Their relationship has been full of trials, from Eren's family not accepting his sexuality to Levi flying to States in July to take care of his sick mom. They haven't seen each other since then, but Levi promised to come back for Christmas, even if just temporarily. A soft smile made an appearance on Eren's face as he typed a response.

_You at 22:10_  
_you didn't wake me up, i just finished studying for tomorrow. i'm tired as fuck, and everything pisses me off, but otherwise i'm okay. i miss you too </3 christmas can't come soon enough_

Levi started typing again, and it took him a good few minutes to respond. Eren felt kind of uneasy while waiting for Levi's reply, he had a feeling that something was terribly wrong. Levi never took this long to reply, ever.

_l <3 vi at 22:15_  
_about that... i don't know if i'll be able to come back on christmas. my mom feels worse and i might have to take her back to hospital. i really wish she would get better and i could come, but it doesn't look very good_

Oh. Eren could've sworn he heard the sound of his heart breaking. He was so looking forward to Christmas just so he could see Levi again. Is he not going to be able to see him after all these months? His hands started shaking as he sent another message.

_You at 22:18_  
_oh no! and i was so looking forward to seeing you again :'( is there really nothing we can do about it?_

_l <3 vi at 22:20_  
_i'm afraid so. i'm really sorry babe. we were both looking forward to this, but i just can't leave my mom here, not now_

First tears started running down Eren's face. He's not the kind of guy who cries easily, but all the stress built up inside of him that was now combined with sadness and disappointment made him emotional. But he knew it wasn't Levi's fault, and he definitely didn't want Levi to feel guilty.

_You at 22:23_  
_it's not your fault, so don't feel sorry. i'm just sad :(_

_l <3 vi at 22:24_  
_don't be, sweetheart. i promise i will make it up to you. i don't know when, but once i'll see you, i'll never let go of you again <3_

By this point, Eren's eyes were red and swollen, yet tears continued to form in his eyes, keeping his vision blurry. Levi's always been so kind and thoughtful, prioritizing Eren's happiness over his own. He must be devastated by his mom's current state, but he still manages to write things like that to Eren. Of all the people in the world, Eren still couldn't believe that he was the person Levi fell in love with.

_You at 22:26_  
_just take care of your mom levi, i'll be fine. i know you want to be strong for me, but i can handle myself, and if you'll need me, i'll try my best to be there for you too. we'll get through this together, even if it's gonna be hard_

Eren knew he's not going to be fine. But it wouldn't be fair to tell Levi the truth. He would just be another burden that Levi doesn't need right now.

_l <3 vi at 22:27_  
_aw eren. thanks. i'm so lucky to have you <3_

That was it. He couldn't talk with Levi for any longer, he felt like even the tiniest thing would make him burst into tears all over again. He sent a short reply to Levi, before collecting his notes and bolting out of the study hall. The snow was crunching beneath his feet as he ran across the campus, not wanting anyone to see him cry. Or maybe it was because he thought that running would help him release the frustration. Once he reached the residence hall, he stopped for a moment to regain his breath.

"Not yet," he thought. "I can't cry just yet."

But once he was in his room and he heard the door close behind him, he broke down in tears. Even though Levi was still there for him if he needed him, he wasn't actually there, and that's what's been the most difficult for Eren. He longed to feel Levi's warm touch on his skin, he longed to hear his beautiful deep voice, he longed to lose himself in Levi's steel eyes once more. He eventually fell asleep, still lying on the cold floor. His phone buzzed in his pocket again, receiving Levi's last message.

_You at 22:30_  
_i'm lucky to have you too. g2g now, i have to prepare for tomorrow. good night <3_

_l <3 vi at 22:50_  
_good night eren, i love you <3_

(x)

Eren's whole body was aching. His alarm clock was aggressively beeping on the nightstand next to his bed, while he was still lying on the floor, confused. He started remembering what happened last night and he couldn't help himself but feel hopeless. He sat on the floor for another couple of minutes before he finally realized that he's supposed to turn the alarm off. He hesitated for a moment before getting up and walking to his bedroom.

The clock was showing 6:07 am, still plenty of time until the start of his class. Normally, he would go over his notes once more before the exam just to make sure he remembers everything, but he wasn't in the mood for that today. He suddenly felt numb and he didn't care about anything, everything he did was done only because it was a part of his daily routine he's been doing for the past two years.

Half an hour later, Eren found himself sitting in front of the classroom. The other students were busy trying to cram in everything they didn't study at home, which Eren thought was pretty pointless since it was impossible to memorize everything at once.

The whole exam was a rush. Eren came, spat out everything he remembered and left. He didn't think his grade would be good, but he was too tired and too sad to care. Levi wasn't coming home for Christmas, so what's the point of living anyway?

He met up in the school canteen with Armin after his literature class. The moment the two boys sat down with their lunch on the plastic trays, Armin knew something was wrong.

"You look pretty bad, aren't you sick? Have you slept well? Or did you fail the test?" he began worrying instantly. Eren gave him a look that made Armin worry, nevertheless he decided to shut up and stay quiet.

They sat like that for a while, before Eren let out a deep sigh and told his best friend the terrible news.

"Levi's not coming for Christmas."

Silence. Armin had no idea how to respond to that, and Eren had nothing else to say.

"I'm so sorry," said Armin finally. "Is there nothing we could do about it? I know you were really looking forward to seeing him again." Eren shook his head

"No. His mom's health is getting worse and he can't leave her right n-"

"Then why don't you go visit him instead?" suggested Armin, casually sipping his coffee.

"Are you nuts?" I asked him so loud that a few people looked at us. "Do you realize how much does the plane ticket alone cost? There's no way in hell I could afford that!"

Suddenly, Armin smiled. That was weird. Why the hell was he smiling?

"Well, it was supposed to be a surprise, but I guess there's no point of hiding it now. Levi called me earlier today and asked me when do our exams end, and he might have mentioned something about buying you a plane ticke-" Armin started, but he was immediately cut off by Eren's surprised look.

"He did what?!"

(x)

A week later, Eren was sitting on a plane to New York. It was a very long and exhausting flight, but Eren hasn't slept at all. He was so excited to see Levi again, but also kind of worried. He hoped that Levi hasn't done anything stupid while they were apart. Levi was strong and always put up a smile for Eren, but even the strongest person has a breaking point where they can't even pretend anymore. Eren was worried that Levi might be close to reaching that point.

It was around 6 pm when he landed in New York. The air was slightly colder compared to Britain, but there was no snow, unlike in Britain. Once he picked up his baggage and went through Customs, he took out his phone to call Levi. He was surprised to see five missed calls from him.

Levi never calls him five times. Eren worriedly dialed Levi's number and waited. It felt like a million years have passed before Levi finally picked up. Eren was suddenly flustered.

"Babe, I'm on the airport. Is everything okay? You've called me five times, that's not like you," he started, worried. He heard something that could be called a faint sob from the other side. It was the kind of sound that made Eren's heart break a little more.

"My mom... She i- she's..." It was very obvious that Levi had to try his hardest not to cry. "She's on the ICU right now, and I don't.. don't know how long..." Eren couldn't stand this situation. The whole world was always against them, but they were both sick of being the strong ones. Still, he had to be strong for Levi now.

"Shhh Levi, darling, it's gonna be ok, I promise. Are you in the hospital with your mom right now?" He asked in hope to get some useful information out of Levi.

"Y-yeah," Levi confirmed.

"And could you please send me the address? I'll take a taxi and I'll be there as soon as possible," Eren reassured him.

"Sure," Levi agreed as he typed. The message came a few seconds later.

"Got it. I'm going to hang up now, but I'll be there as soon as I can, okay?" Eren asked, unsure that Levi will be ok with him hanging up.

"Okay," Levi hummed. It didn't make Eren any less nervous, though.

"I'm here if you need me, alright? Take care," he reminded Levi once again before hanging up. Then, he walked out of the airport and found a taxi as fast as he could. He gave the driver the address and was relieved to find out that it's not as far as he expected.  There just was one thing Eren forgot about: traffic jams. The hospital wasn't even twenty minutes away from the airport, but only if you were lucky and didn't get stuck in the traffic.

After twenty minutes of standing completely still, Eren knew he couldn't wait any longer. He asked the driver for directions and after paying and apologizing to him for complicating his job, he started to walk in the hospital's direction. Before he knew it, he was running through the dark streets of New York at full speed.

He stopped in front of the entrance. "What should I say? Should I call Levi first?" Multiple questions passed through Eren's head at once. He shook them all off and entered the hospital without a single clue of what is he supposed to do. He was immediately greeted by a cheerful voice of a receptionist sitting behind a computer.

"Hello, welcome to Sina Local Hospital, what can I do for you today?"

"Umm, I'm... I'm looking for my boyfriend Levi Ackerman. His mom Kuchel Ackerman is on ICU right now, so I suppose he's with her."  Eren said nervously. The receptionist looked at something on the computer screen and furrowed her brows for a moment, which made him worry that he's not going to be able to see Levi, but he was relieved when she looked at him again with a compassionate smile.

"The ICU is on the second floor, once you get out of the elevator, turn left and go through the hallway. There is a waiting room at the end of the hallway, and you should find your boyfriend there."  She explained him the route while maintaining her kind expression the whole time. "I think you're aware that you can't visit his mother while she's there."

"Yeah, I know," Eren nodded. "Thank you," he said and hurried to the elevator. He pressed the button to the second floor and as the door closed, he heard his heartbeat getting faster.

He started to worry if he's ready to see Levi being a complete mess. He came here to help him, but seeing him broken could make him do the opposite. He really didn't want to be a burden to Levi, not now. He quickly dismissed the negative thoughts and took a deep breath. "It's going to be okay," he lied to himself. Since when was this situation okay?

The door opened and Eren began walking through a ridiculously long, nearly endless hallway. His anxiety was screaming in the back of his head, but he tried to ignore it as hard as he could, for both his and Levi's sake.

Finally, he came into the waiting room. There, he saw a person faintly resembling his boyfriend, curled up into a ball, sleeping. He only realized it was actually Levi when he came closer. His face was all red and swollen from crying, his hair was messy and his clothes were hanging loose on him. He looked tired and he definitely lost a lot of weight since they've seen each other, and Eren definitely didn't like that. He leaned closer to gently brush Levi's hair out of his face and planted a soft kiss on his forehead.

He didn't have the heart to wake him up, so he bought himself a coffee and sat next to him with his laptop on his knees. He got to work on one of his essays and he had about two pages done when he heard a soft mumbling from his left. Eren remembered that Levi only made this sound a few minutes before he woke up, so he closed his laptop and began playing with Levi's hair, one of the countless things he missed.

"Mmmm..." Levi hummed as he opened his eyes slowly. He was surprised to see Eren sitting next to him, staring right into his eyes.

"Hey babe, I'm here, sorry for taking me so long," softly smiled Eren. Levi didn't hesitate for a moment and instantly pulled Eren into a hug that expressed their feelings better than a thousand words. Their lives might have been slowly falling apart, but if nothing else, they were finally together again.

"I don't want to let go," confessed Levi after a few minutes of silent hugging. "You don't have to," Eren chuckled and started playing with Levi's hair.

"Yes, I do. I need to go to the bathroom. Now. So let go of me," teased Levi. Eren once again realized how much he missed Levi's savageness.

"Okay, fine, your highness," Eren responded, and released his grip. "You look horrible, by the way," he didn't forget to comment on his boyfriend's current appearance.

"I know, I feel horrible too," Levi confessed. Eren noticed tears were starting to form in his eyes again, and he felt guilty instantly.

"Ah babe, I didn't mean it like that, you're beautiful as ever. Don't cry now, please, you don't even have enough strength for that," he started to comfort Levi, rubbing circles on his back with one hand while wiping the tears that started to stream down Levi's face with the other one. "You're gonna go to the bathroom now, clean yourself up a bit, I'll buy you coffee and some food and then we'll talk and cry ok?"

Levi nodded and got up, but Eren's tug on his sleeve stopped him. "Wait a moment," Eren told him, and bent down to search for something in his baggage. After a moment, he took out his toothbrush and a toothpaste. "Here, it will make you feel better."

Ten minutes later, Levi came back from the bathroom and Eren was already waiting for him with a cappuccino and a sandwich. The coffee was gone within a few minutes, but he only took one bite of the sandwich.

"You're not hungry?" Eren asked, worried.

"Not really," Levi answered.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, before Eren noticed that Levi's starting to tear up again. He hugged him, but because the position was too uncomfortable and awkward for the both of them, he motioned to Levi to sit on his lap. Then he turned his head a little so Levi could lean on his shoulder easily.

He could feel the smaller one's body shaking as he cried his heart out. He continued rubbing Levi's back with his hands in hope that it would help him feel at least a tiny bit better.

"E-Er-en?" said Levi finally after he stopped crying.

"Mhmm?" hummed Eren.

"Y-you w-will be with me until the end, right?" he asked with a look that made Eren feel like someone just stabbed him through his heart multiple times. It was so painful to see him like this, yet he couldn't just leave him, that would hurt even more.

"Of course Levi, don't worry. I couldn't live without you," Eren answered truthfully and was relieved to see a tiny sparkle of hope in Levi's eyes. "We both know this will be a tough time for the both of us, but as long as we have each other, we still have at least one reason to live," he smiled softly and cupped Levi's cheeks. 

(x)

"I'm home!" called out Levi as he started taking his shoes off. He heard a lot of noise coming from the kitchen, and then suddenly, it was quiet.

"Hello? Eren? Mom?" It's been a week since his mom came back home from the hospital. Not only was her health finally getting better, but he and Eren also managed to recover pretty quickly, Levi even started eating properly again. He still felt like he's living in a dream, that he's going to wake up any minute to a world where his mother no longer is with him, or to a world where Eren wasn't with him through all this. But it was real, and that made Levi really happy, despite the fact that he had to work even on holidays so they'd be able to cover their bills. 

Then there was Eren, who refused to fly back to Britain without Levi and decided to stay with him and his mom for a while. He was still only a student, so he couldn't work full-time, but he promised to help Levi with paying the bills anyway. It was a difficult situation, but they were finally together, and that was all that mattered to them.

As soon as Levi walked into the kitchen, tons of confetti filled the room, there were balloons everywhere, and in the middle of everything, his mom and Eren were sitting by the table, lighting up the candles on Levi's birthday cake.

"Happy birthday!" they shouted in unison. Levi stood there, completely shook by the surprise. Right, today is Christmas Day, but also his birthday. He was so busy with everything that he completely forgot. 

"Babe, is everything okay?" asked Eren suddenly. Only then did Levi realize he's started to cry. 

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine, sorry, it's just... so beautiful." Levi wiped his tears away and smiled. All the pain they had to endure to have this together was so worth it. 

Eren brought the cake closer to Levi, so he could blow the candles out. Levi thought for a moment what should he wish for, and then blew all the candles out with a soft smile forming on his face.

"What did you wish for?" asked Eren once the candles were out. 

"I already got what I wished for," smiled Levi, "I wished for you." 

"I think I'll leave you alone now, this is getting awkward to watch," laughed Kuchel. Her comment made Eren chuckle and Levi started to question his existence. 

Eren and Levi spent the rest of the day watching movies and cuddling on the couch with a few cups of hot cocoa. Not everyone would probably like to spend Christmas like this, but for them it was more than enough, just feeling each other's touch they missed for so long.

"Eren?" whispered sleepy Levi after the last movie.

"Yeah?" Eren looked at him, also sleepy.

"Thanks," he smiled lazily, leaning closer to kiss Eren, "Merry Christmas."

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to wish you all happy holidays and a happy new year! oh, and happy belated birthday to our one and only captain levi!


End file.
